one of my favorite experiences from my short week in beverly/boston was the night that gentry took me to a "monastery" of sorts and i was able to participate with him and a few others in compline. i have never really been exposed to liturgy before–except for reading about it or trying to understand it from a distance–but it may have been one of the most beautiful expressions of prayer in communal form that i have ever been exposed to and able to participate in. interweaving prayer, scripture, and words from the heart into a beautifully rhythmic and poetic expression of communicating with God was so refreshing, and ultimately uplifting and encouraging. i wish that there was a way that i might find an expression of this in the community that i live. it was a wonderful way to slow down, to refocus and re-center on Christ at the end of a very long and hard day of questioning and contemplating.
it’s amazing how deep and rich this tradition is, yet for the most part the evangelical church pushes it outside of its practice. i truly wish that we could reclaim some of that and incorporate it into our own dna and into our practice but for some reason it seems completely off-limits–it’s as if liturgy is a dirty word that you dare not speak in the evangelical world. it’s as if spontaneous prayers are the only prayers that can be said and the prayers found in scripture, and the prayers of our fellow journeymen from the past can no longer be uttered from our lips. i’m not quite sure i understand that…
i find myself longing to connect myself to the past, to learn and grow from those that have gone before me, to practice the traditions and the way of life from those that have experienced some of the deepest, richest and fullest relationships with Christ because i long to know Him and know Him completely.
i know that i am messed up, that i can be shallow, unforgiving and far from gracious at times… but i also know that i am a broken vessel of depravity that longs to know his Savior. i find myself wondering if evangelicalism can only get one so far and from there you have to turn to the ways of old, the tried and true methods and practices for so many for so long… but then again, it always seems as if the grass is always greener on the other side! i’m not trying to forsake my heritage, what has helped to shape and form me into who i am today. but i certainly wouldn’t mind dabbling outside of my heritage in order to experience and find a fuller expression of faith than what i know right now.
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