tomorrow is my beautiful wife’s 30th birthday (okay not really her 30th, but she is getting ever closer, creeping up on that magic number!)Â so send her a birthday wish here or send her an email to wish her a happy 30th* birthday!
what is it about 30 that is so bad… or even so good? as i’ve made my journey through ministry the magic number for respect has continued to increase. constantly i’ve dealt with the “age factor” and have never been old enough to handle the situations that i’ve been in. i took my very first youth ministry at age 18 and after a while of being seen as “too young” i thought, if only i could hit 20, then all this reverse ageism will cease–it didn’t**. so, i bumped up the magic number to 25 thinking, that should settle it–nope, not a chance. it seemed that i was never “old enough” to be a youth minister… not necessarily from the staff members that i worked with, but the congregations whom i served.
so, i’ve stepped out of youth ministry (not as a result of the reverse ageism) and now find myself not in an associate position, like planned, but in the role as sr. pastor of a good size church at the ripe old age of 27*** i’ve “seen” the magic number increased to 30–although i’m sure that’s too young as well. my question is this, when are you finally old enough that your age is no longer a factor? or does the issue swing the opposite way–you fight and fight and fight for respect despite not being old enough, and then one day it all flips on you and you suddenly find yourself having to fight and fight and fight for respect because you’re too old?
i’m still looking for the magic number…
*she’s really only 28… (but you didn’t hear that from me!)
**so, i thought, if only i were married–that didn’t work either
**yes tracy, i had to really think hard about how old i really am.
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So, were you the YM at this church and then “promoted” to Senior dude?
I think it is HILARIOUS that you can’t remember your age! You know the other factor as well. Kids. For some reason if we had kids, even at 25 you would have been viewed in a much different light. So why be viewed as irresponsible for not having kids when all you are trying to do is be responsible and not have kids until you are ready? Thoughts?
yes and no, scott…
i was the interim YM for about 2 months before stepping into the associate pastor role (as an interim) and enjoyed that position for about 6 months before the sr. was displaced and i was flung into the mess…
I went from wanting respect to getting too much respect. I don’t like being referred to as sir!
I like calling you, “young edgy guy”, but I will not refer to Tracy as that older woman you married!
OK. I’m not sure of what your situation consists of but respect will come. Kids won’t necessarily change things. Nor will turning 30. I’m 38 and still encounter people who think that they can do the job better than me (although that is pretty rare these days). Somedays, I think they might be right.
It’ll probably take some time for people to remove the “interim” from their minds. But even the apostles second guessed Jesus. You are in good company.
Hang in there. Ministry can be a cesspool. Let people think what they will. What matters is that you are faithful.
Every day I am reminded of my youth. I had a freshman walk into my office last week. It was my job to offer him advice about his schedule. He is currently failing 5 classes, so my advice was pretty much stop being stupid and get your butt to class. He just gave me this skeptical look–Are you sure that you are a professor here?
I think kids have changed my own perception of my age. I feel older and more responsible with them even if the perception of those around me hasn’t changed.
Another thing that changes the way others look at you is whether you are losing your hair or growing your gut. Monts, you should be getting all the respect in the world.
Seriously, everyone has always told me I was too young to do things. I’ve battled this same well maybe if I’m this age, blah blah blah….and it NEVER changes… When I decided to come over here (Korea) most people told me I was too young and should wait till I graduated college, and I was like what? Then when will I have time?? So I prayed and went for it…so glad I did…and never in a millon years would I have pictured myself teaching at the age of 19! I love it though…the kids are amazing…wouldn’t trade it for the world. Anyways now I’m getting married at 19….I wonder what people will say to that….I can only guess…. lol
Christy
Ah respect. The illusive respect. I am 55 years old, I have had the same job for 35 years (teacher/coach). My superintendant, assistant principal, dean of students, guidance director, athletic director, department chair, union president, head football coach, 7 assistant football coaches, and all 3 of my wrestling assistant coaches were all students of mine. 7 of those people are now my bosses (so to speak). I have been very successful in my teaching/coaching career, my teams have won 73% of their games/competitions, I have been nominated for induction into 2 differents sports halls of fame, but I still don’t always feel that I get the respect that my age & experience warrants. Maybe when I retire in 2 more years, I will get respect. Nah, then I’ll just be a washed up old guy who is just viewed as a has been put out to pasture.
The moral to this story is this, be happy & bloom where you’re planted. My wife & kids love me, my students & players love me. The rest really doesn’t really matter much.
so what you’re telling me is there’s no chance of it ever ending….
gee, thanks for the uplifting encouragement everyone!
i guess i’m just looking for equal respect, not a higher level of respect–i’m just tired of being looked down on because i’m young… however did timothy do it.
(p.s. – christy, it’s not like anyone can say to you about getting married at 19, that you haven’t seen the world)