even though my last day was supposed to be next sunday, i made my last day today… this of course was a unilateral decision made by me and me alone—on my terms. i will finish cleaning out my office tomorrow and leave my keys on the desk and say goodbye to the few that are there in the office. i won’t get into all the details of today because they are still too fresh and still too painful… but suffice it to say, it is over and i’m looking forward to the break away from church. my soul is deeply wounded and i’m looking forward to a time of healing and refreshment. hopefully it will begin now—and i will not be consumed with anger and bitterness, resentment and hurt but rather will be able to “dust off my feet” and move on.
it is my prayer that God will piece me back together… i am thankful for how he has protected my psyche—especially in relation to the church. i’ve made huge strides in my struggle with the church as God has guided me along and shown me a different way—and i’m glad i am not falling backwards to the place i occupied a year and a half ago.
so, here’s to a turned page, an end of a chapter and the blank page that lay in-between the past and the future where i currently stand. it’s all in God’s hands from here… and only he knows how long we will occupy this blank space and what is in store during this time. but i am confident in Him, and i am confident that we are not here by accident.
Related posts:
- when God made me.
- seeker-sensitive & emerging churches
- way to go mom!
- indefinitely suspended.
- the future of youth ministry?
My heart goes out to you.
I wish I could say something to help.
I will pray for your new adventure in life.
God has some good things on the next page!
My prayers are with you in this transition.
you did well aaron. i’m looking forward to where God is leading you.
Blank pages are so exciting. May your blank page be filled with rest, healing, peace, time to talk and listen to God and others, wonder, dreams, excitement, hope, adventure, purpose, people who share the vision that God has burned into your heart, people who understand, and some good friends with whom you can grieve with and laugh. This is going to be fascinating story!
I think it is suffice to say you are probably 1 in 3 roughly who feel the same way about “church” as we know it today.
While I was never officially “employed” by a given church, leaving after sacrificing much of your heart and life is never easy, and even worse when the break is bad…
…but I also know that this has propelled my walk with Jesus even further, and in the end, I know that not all ‘bad’ experiences end bad. Keep ya head up!
thanks for the encouragement everybody… i’m actually doing quite well with the whole thing…
[...] i’ve never heard those words from a nurse about my b.p. before! i wonder if it has anything to do with this? (it’d be a crazy coincidence if not!) i will say that i am in a rather “stress-free” mode at the moment and am really enjoying this easy-going way of life. (we’ll see how long that lasts before i go crazy!) this would probably be a really good time to start exercising and such so that when the stress of life pours itself back down, i’ll be in better shape, and a better place so that my health isn’t adversely affected! [...]
monts…all I can say is…thank you…I truly believe that God put you at heartland at a specific time, for a specific reason, for a specific season…wow was it the worst season, but I know heartland couldn’t do it w/o God placing you here…the sacrifices that you and your wife made to bring us through this season have been nothing but extraordinary, I can’t imagine the stress you have gone through this past year & a half……many at heartland want to just move on as fast as we can w/o looking back (I understand), but sometimes people get run over, people that have been there for us all along with out question…for that I am sorry to you and the others that have gotten run over in other ways…I didn’t get to know you as well as I should but I have never questioned your motives or your drive or your purpose of being in that position…I have absolutely no doubt that you are made for excellence & success and I wish you the very best and hope this has not done any more damage, but I want you to know…from all the heartland family that can’t say it…thank you & we love you guys for what you have done here at heartland…
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