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Single-Serving Friends… enter Ted.
I’ve been traveling an abnormal amount the past couple of months speaking at churches in Boston, NYC, Chicago, etc, about the new church plant in San Francisco. All of this travel has offered me an opportunity to get to know a few “single-serving friends” (a reference from Fight Club) and this past weekends flight to San Diego was no different.
Enter Ted.
Before the plane even made it to the tarmac, Ted introduced himself and asked what my occupation was (the million dollar question where the answer would surely put an end to any ensuing conversation) to which I responded, “I’m a pastor”. Immediately Ted shifted in his seat a bit, almost uncomfortably, but then something changed in his demeanor and he turned to me and began to ask questions about our congregation in San Francisco and what exactly a church plant is/looks like. I answered his questions one at a time before he began an onslaught of questions from all sorts of different angles, “What is truth, what’s your stance on homosexuality, how can you trust the Bible, how do you understand the Trinity, what’s your training, why are there so many denominations if Truth is unified, isn’t seminary pointless, etc, etc, etc.” Let me say up front that I’ve never experienced such a wide-range of questions in such a short amount of time and it literally caught me off guard leaving me a little off kilter and discombobulated.
Ted asked permission to tell his story, and so I listened as he started with the line, “I have a lot of Christian friends who don’t consider me to be a Christian… I grew up in a Buddhist home before joining the church.” Ted continued his testimony all the while utilizing some of my answers to the onslaught of questions he asked earlier to make his points and solidify the position of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (read: Mormonism). For the majority of our flight (1 hour, 8 minutes) I was being evangelized by a Mormon and had no clue. Ted, presented himself as a person seeking understanding and answers to some of life’s hardest questions before spinning on a dime and presenting Mormon Doctrine and belief, asking me to read the introduction of the Book of Mormon and following the instructions to believe in the One True Church.
Ted, was more than likely in his mid to late 40′s, over twenty-five years removed from his Missionary Journey as a 19 year old and yet still sought opportunities as a missionary to share his faith. I must say, that I was very impressed with his boldness, with his willingness to engage with me on a 9:50p flight to San Diego and his friendliness.
I realized, in retrospect, the formula that the Mormon Church uses for evangelism:
- Upset the equilibrium of your opponent by questioning their belief system as a seeker of truth. By raising questions to which they are unable to answer provide you with a platform down the road to speak your truth into the situation, thus pointing them in a new direction
- Share your personal story and point out the inconsistencies and questions of your previous way of thinking by inserting your “opponents” thoughts into the mix as well. This will give you common ground and begin to create agreement.
- Point to the Book of Mormon an ask the listener (no longer an “opponent”) to read the Introduction on their own time and follow the instructions, praying for guidance and a “burning in the bosom.”
- Hope the person doesn’t ask any questions outside of your presentation because you’re not really prepared to go “off-script”
This presentation is wildly effective, hence the growth being experienced by the Mormon Church, however taking the conversation off-script reveals a great lack of depth behind the scenes.
I look at my conversation with Ted and I wonder why the church isn’t more effective in presenting the Gospel, in pointing towards the Kingdom of God and specifically Jesus… especially if we truly believe it is the hope of the world! How did we lose our way in this? What has been the greatest source of our undoing in this respect? Have we lost our boldness? Do we no longer rely on the Spirit? Or are we simply just unprepared?
Ted taught me a great deal about the importance of story and how we as the Church miss the boat on pointing towards Jesus and the Kingdom of God…
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4 Responses to “Single-Serving Friends… enter Ted.”
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And now a question of etiquette, do I give you the crotch or the ass?
I had a similar experience years ago on a Chicago-Seattle flight. I noticed the same formula for evangelism. The strange part was that when I didn’t bite (e.g. Him – “Do you ever wonder why there are so many churches/denominations?” Me – “No, not really”), he continued in his scripted reply.
Their preparation is to be admired. I have a feeling that he had 4 or 5 different lines of argument memorized. As you experienced, if I ever tried to ask questions along different lines, they were ignored or redirected to a script that he had ready.
I know very few American Christians who are BOLD in sharing their faith. Reflecting on my own fears, I’m too PC – I wouldn’t want to offend someone. I value their right to believe what they want (and my right to be comfortable) over and above any need to be reconciled with God. In terms of our preparation, I tend to believe one of three things: (1) we don’t actually believe all that stuff about hell and judgment; (2) we’re scared and unprepared; or (3) our emphasis is on a life well-lived rather than a Story well-told (we need both).
Oh Brett… Chicago to Seattle? Wow, that’s a long flight for a conversation of this sort.
The question of denominations was one of the exact same questions I was posed with… it’s certainly a set script. And I agree I admired his preparation and the fearlessness he expressed in the conversation. I wished that I was more like that in conversation, instead I was hoping that by telling him I was a pastor, the conversation would end.
I don’t respect a Mormons script any more than I do a telemarketers. THESE ARE NOT “conversations” THAT WE’RE HAVING. They’re bait and switch tactics that are impersonal at best and heartless at worst. We of the non-Mormon tradtion should be cautious of the same tactics we use in furthuring what we believe to be the truth.
There’s nothing wrong with respecting someones right to differ in opinion. We’re not obligated to make people change. But, in terms of a story, we’d each have a great story of how Jesus has affected our lives if our lives reflected that, and if that were true, then we wouldn’t be scared or unprepared. (Bret, this was not pointed at you, rather the plurality in which you wrote of). This is far more compeling and pertainant than offering ONE MORE viewpoint to the pot of future events/eschatalogical theology regaurdless of how well it’s seasoned.
“In death, a member of project mayhem has a name, his name is Robert Palson”
In spite of the societal sub-groups we all are and aren’t a part of, in the end, our personal story is significant because it has a name.
The big question then is what does your name testify?