Being a pastor/preacher/teacher comes with a great share of criticism. And as I finish my 12th year in ministry I’m continually reminded that it is completely impossible to please everyone. Every time I try and make everyone happy, to make everyone like me, I only end up laying awake at night in a sweat pondering why it’s so impossible to make that simple thing happen. For the past couple of months I’ve been wrestling with and thinking through this statement by Matt Chandler:
“The first thing I started doing was figuring out my motivation in ministry. I love God. I care about his gospel. I could care less if you like me or not. I’m not going to spend hours of my life worrying about that stuff. When I am fearless in the proclamation of God’s Word, good things happen. Sometimes I don’t know the motivation in my heart. If it’s not the cross, the life of Jesus imparted into me, or his resurrection then I don’t stand a chance. I have no hope apart from these things.”
That’s a pretty hard statement for me to accept 100%, especially considering I still care some if people like me or not… perhaps it’s a personality flaw of some sort… I mean, I try not to care, but it doesn’t seem to work out so well. And then, just a few days later, I came across this little gem from Seth Godin on People Pleasing. He entitles it “A motto for those doing work that matters” (I think being a pastor/preacher/teacher actually matters… a lot… so I think this was written for me too.)
“We can’t please everyone, in fact, we’re not even going to try.”
Or perhaps:
“Pleasing everyone with our work is impossible. It wastes the time of our best customers and annoys our staff. Forgive us for focusing on those we’re trying to delight.”The math here is simple. As soon as you work hard to please everyone, you have no choice but to sand off the edges, pleasing some people less in order to please others a bit more. And it drives you crazy at the same time.
I could stand for a little less crazy in my life.
A month ago I walked the indoor prayer labyrinth at Grace Cathedral and wrestled with my external critics as well as my internal critic (which is always worse than the external ones… he’s pretty harsh.) As I made my way into the center of the circle meditating and praying, I found myself wound up and frustrated beyond belief. It was on the way out, the time of listening and hearing from God that I heard these words loud and clear: “Aaron, you are my beloved son. With you I am well pleased.”
Immediately I was reduced to tears.
No matter what the critics say, no matter how harsh my inner critic gets and no matter how terribly I think I’ve failed, God continues to tell me, “You are my beloved son. With you I am well pleased.” God appreciates my effort, regardless of how much I think I’ve failed… and God expects me to rest in his love and trust that He’ll take it from where I left off.
I suppose Matt Chandler is actually right. It’s probably past time to stop spending hours of my life, hours of my sleep worrying about these things and instead spend that time resting in God’s love and praying for Him to do exponentially greater things with the offering of my work than I could ever possibly hope for… Perhaps I should heed the phrase of Mother Teresa: “I’m not called to be successful; I’m called to be faithful.”
(To Be Continued?)
Related posts:
- california dreamin…
- It’s Time To Party.
- back to school.
- technical difficulties.
- the death of our passion; the death of idealism
