This is the Eulogy I prepared and gave at my Grandma’s funeral last week…
Dorothy Mae Abel Shockley passed away at 11:20am Tuesday, September 7 2010 at the age of 90 with her family by her side.
Family was important to Grandma and it’s fitting that as she left this world her family was there by her side. Grandma grew up in a large family with 8 brothers and sisters and spent her teenage years living through the Great Depression before meeting and marrying Grandpa Abel on February 10, 1941.
Grandma was a devoted wife, mother and homemaker raising 4 wonderful daughters in a 2-bedroom house without air conditioning, without a microwave, and without a dishwasher. She was resourceful—she had to be. She became a tremendous cook on a tight budget. Living in the city, somehow she would get a couple of live chickens (we think from Aunt Cleo’s farm), wring their necks in the driveway—in full view of the neighbors (don’t mess with Grandma!)—lop off their heads and hang them from the clothes line in the yard as she plucked the feathers clean and cook up the best fried chicken you’ve ever had. She was such a good cook that she figured out ways to get her daughters to eat liver and onions, ham hocks, and pig brains—and before they figured out what they were actually eating, they loved it!
As her daughters grew up and had kids of their own Grandma was never far away. As Mary toiled away as a single mom, grandma was there to watch Billie. In fact, she watched us all… she was always there. When my dad lost his job and mom had to go back to work… grandma was there to watch me and make things a little easier. Grandma was always there to help out wherever she could. She wanted to make things easier for her daughters and did whatever she could to show her love and support.
I loved spending time with Grandma, she made the best hot dogs in the world. I swear she did something to the water she’d boil them in… And for 15 years I’ve been trying hopelessly to figure out what she did to make those stupid hot dogs so good. She’d pull them from the magical water, slice them down the middle and serve em up on a bun. Delectable! Every day after school, and even on the days I faked being sick, Grandma would make me those magical hot dogs to make everything better.
Grandma loved to take us out, she’d take us to the Surf Club, to the park, she’d take us fishing—and whatever we caught, she could turn into a mean fish stick! And whenever we’d get hungry—no way was she going to take us to a concession stand; she had a perfectly prepared bologna and ketchup sandwich close at hand!
Grandma was always there, and she passed on her love and value of family to each of us. But that’s not all she passed on… grandma had an insatiable love for the Cubs. It’s hard to believe that in her 90 years of life they never won her a championship—stupid Cubs—but she never waned. Just a few days ago, on her last good day in the hospital the Cubs game was on, and her eyes lit up as she saw the score—the Cubs were actually winning. I remember sitting with her every day in the summers watching the Cubs, eating a big bowl of chocolate ice cream. Wow, Grandma had a sweet tooth… and each and every Christmas she worked to pass that sweet tooth on to each of us with 2 ½ pounds of Zachary Chocolates!
A few short years after Grandpa Abel died, Grandma reconnected with her high school sweetheart, Loyd. And after a short re-courtship decided to get married. It was only a few years after Grandpa Abel had passed and each one of her daughters thought Grandma was moving way to fast. They sat her down and told her to slow down and take her time.
Grandma’s response? “Slow down? I’m 70. I don’t have time to slow down!”
And marrying Loyd was one of the best things she could’ve done. I still remember the ceremony, Grandma wearing the dress she’s in today exchanging their vows in Elwin, in the living room of the preachers home. There was no time to waste!
Grandma and Loyd were quite the pair, and they spent 13 wonderful years together, traveling the country and collecting all the state magnets they could. They proudly displayed each and every state they visited on their fridge. One Halloween night, a few years after getting married, they dressed up and went to Aunt Anna’s house, “Trick or Treat!”
She didn’t even recognize them! Grandma sure knew how to have a good time with Loyd… they seemed to be absolutely perfect together.
I’ll never forget one afternoon in high school as I was walking through the mall with some friends. Just a few steps in front of me was an old couple holding hands. I thought to myself, “that’s strange, I didn’t know old people held hands.” As I got closer, right in front of the Hallmark store… you’ve probably guessed by now… it was Grandma and Loyd. I’ll never forget their example and display of love.
But perhaps more than anything, I’ll remember Grandma’s swing on the porch. I loved that thing and I’d go out there and make it go as high as I could, the chains making a wretched sound—almost as if I was gonna bring the whole porch down! Grandma would come outside, not say a thing and just sit down with me on the swing. We’d swing there for a while just sitting and enjoying the day. She was always able to calm me down with the greatest of ease. I don’t remember any of the conversations we had on that swing—I don’t even remember if we said two words, but in those moments I just knew she was and would always be there for me.
I love you Grandma, and I’ll miss you.
